One-Hit Wonders

My husband sent me a text yesterday morning on his way to work, and it said,

“I can’t stop thinking about how badass your pumpkin is.”

Why is he still thinking about the pumpkin I carved this weekend? ┬áBecause I completely, utterly blew everyone away with my mad carving skill. (I hesitate to say “skills” because I think it was a one time miracle, a fleeting moment in time, an absolute MARVEL that I could not possibly reproduce.) ┬áNo one expected it at all. I struck out of nowhere. It all started when I told my family that, this year, we were raising the bar. I was tired of the same old jack o’ lanterns. It was game on. Sean obviously didn’t take me seriously. He knows, or THOUGHT HE KNEW, all about my artistic (dis)ability. For example, dating back long ago: When I was a Freshman in high school, I paid a Senior art student $5 to make my clay pottery assignment because I knew my creation would suck so bad. I’m talking about you, Chris Kilander. (He later went on to Herron Art School, by the way.) Turns out, mine was the only one that blew up in the kiln. Thanks, Chris. I want my $5 back.

Well, as many have already seen, after two hours of intense handiwork with a couple of knives, a pattern that I paid $2 for, and completely hiding the project from my husband and kids until I was done, here is the final product:

Yes, I busted this out of nowhere.

I have to give credit to the Murphy’s for inspiring me with their own amazing pumpkin pictures. They set the bar for me. I am not joking about a Carve Off in 2013, I can hardly wait!! See you all there! BYOK! (Bring Your Own Knives).

Aside from Frankenstein, I tried my hand at something else completely new this weekend. I had always wanted to learn how to stain and polyurethane wood, so I got my first shot with refinishing a beautiful oak desk that my father built from scratch. More importantly, I got the chance to work alongside him. I got to learn straight from the master. It reminded me of when I was little honey badger myself, and hung out with my Dad in our garage while he completely rebuilt an old MG into a beautiful, shiny, apple red speedstress. Years of toil and sweat he put into that car, and it was gorgeous by the time he was done. My brother got to drive it to school shortly after it’s makeover was complete. It was a sight on the curb of Bishop Chatard High School. How could you miss it? I’m sure it was bedazzling, just hanging out in plain view. Someone obviously missed it, though, and drove a nice, fat dent right into the driver’s side door. As Erin would sing, “Womp, womp”.

Back to my burst of creativity, though, I am so thrilled with the results of the desk. I know my Dad is too. I worked and worked on it, and now I am ready to stain and polyurethane the shit out of everything!!! I feel like I really learned a valuable life skill. My Dad has taught me a lot over the years, I just hope he can pass on his knowledge of woodworking to me. The sky’s the limit! I busted out a pumpkin carving of Frankenstein, I can do anything!!

Here is the Before of the desk:

Forgot to take the picture with the drawers in. Oh well, you get the gist.

Here is After:

Does anyone have any marble lying around? I’m ready to sculpt something clever up in this piece. I have to take advantage of this flash of artistic ability before it completely vanishes!