“MOM-MEEEE! WILL YOU WIPE MY BOT-TOMMMM?!”

I yelled this from my Mom’s bathroom the other day. I wanted her to relive the moment as I live it, EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. In ways like this, I try to remind my Mom just how much fun I (probably) was when I was little!  It’s always awesome to hear that phrase shouted from the bathroom. Daily. Our little Erin is quite predictable when she trots into the bathroom and shuts the door. We know exactly what she will yell, and we wait for it like a countdown, but sometimes we don’t know “who” will be the Chosen One. Mommy? or…..Daddy? Always on the edge of our seats!

Anyway, my Mom recently turned 70. She’s a long way away from those good ‘ol days of raising us kids. She and my Dad sit back and marvel  at chuckle at me and my siblings as we rear our own. Actually, my Mom still enjoys parenting all of us to the utmost of her ability, while my Dad has been known to wink at me a time or two and say, “What goes around, comes around.” So, when it came time to plan for the party, my sister-in-law and I tried to talk my Mom into a nice, quiet dinner for Adults Only for her birthday; we know how rowdy our bunch can get. “Nope!”, she insisted. “I want to be surrounded by my grandchildren and just have pizza, and play games!”

We indulged her. Except, only half the grandkids could come. (The loud ones.)

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This photo was taken before multiple Flash (the hamster) “pettings”, a mostly mild concussion from son hitting his head on the floor while roughhousing, and serious shirtless dance moves to current music + Michael Jackson music (ALWAYS current). (The caterpillar dance move is still a hit at parties, by the way.)

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Example of shirtless dance move by the Honey Badger. Skirt is also on backwards.

Flash makes an appearance at the party. Erin is showing him her orange while he watches "Elf" with her.

Flash makes an appearance at the party. Erin is showing him her orange while he watches “Elf” with her. He LOVES that movie.

At one point, the noise in the room from 4 hyped-up grandkids was just too much, and I looked at my Mom & Dad and yelled, “We could be having a really nice, QUIET dinner right about now!” And, my Mom replied, “THIS is what I wanted!” Truly, she did want all of the chaos. And, that is beautiful.

My Mom’s heart has taken a licking, and keeps on ticking. Despite the many challenges she has faced, she is with us still. And, her grandchildren are the MOST important part of her life. Eight grandchildren – from 21 yrs. of age, to 3yrs, she’s had a major impact on all of their lives. I think she had a fabulous time on her birthday. PLUS, she got to go home to her own peace and quiet, and hop right into bed. And, that’s how it should be. (My husband would stop me right here and say that I was lying. That she didn’t really hop into bed, she climbed.)

So, I wonder what it was like for my mother, being a “Mom” to my own 3 year-old Me. Was I the original Honey Badger? Was I a complete lunatic, like Erin? Did I talk incessantly without taking a breath, as well? I doubt it. She broke the mold. I think it’s absolutely bizarre how tiny we are when our personalities develop. Erin is only 3, but she is just the absolute most fun. I just wish I could get inside her little brain for a second and see the world through her eyes. I bet I would be amazed at what I saw.

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The Beef Song

A couple of months ago, it was a nightly ritual for Erin to request songs for us to sing at bedtime. She would choose something completely random, by glancing around the room, and come up with some totally arbitrary theme.  For example, she’d look up at the ceiling fan and say, “I want you to sing the fannnn song!!”. She was granted only two song requests per evening. We could only shoot from the hip so much. It was all good until you sang a REALLY good one, about the wall, window, or closet door, and then you were requested to sing it again the next night, and…GAH!…you totally forgot your awesome lyrics and tune. Happened all the time. We moved right on past that phase, as fun as it was. For awhile now, we’ve settled back into a more conventional routine of reading a few books and calling it a night…like normal parents.

Until last night.

Sean read Erin a couple of stories, as usual,when she suddenly looked up at him and said, “Daddy, will you sing me the Beef Song?”

Sean replied, “the beef song? I don’t know the beef song!”

Erin let out a most disgruntled sigh. Quite annoyed, she said, “YES, YOU DO!”

Sean really thought she was referring to the “bee” song from Monty Python: “Eric the Half a Bee”.  He said, “do you mean Eric the Half a Bee?” In the rotation of “actual, existing songs” that she was familiar with, this was not a far stretch, by any means.

“NO, DADDY, the bee-Fa-Fa-Fa-Fa-[strongly emphasizing the “EF” sound] song.” Not necessarily in a rude way, but a very exaggerated, tired of repeating herself, kind of way.

After a little bit of arguing about Monty Python vs. bee”F-F-F-F”, Sean finally succumbed to the old ritual of making shit up on the spot and singing about beef.  He doesn’t even recall his lyrics. We rarely do, because they are usually so lame, and they dissipate into the air as soon as they are crooned, and should be forgotten forever. It’s only when she requests real lullabies, like Michael Jackson tunes, that really matter anyway.

I do wonder, though, what impressive lyrics Sean sang last night. I am really curious. Or lack thereof, I suppose, as she did go to sleep quite quickly. Hopefully, we can get back on to normal nighttime routines, like sticking to books. But, when the honey badger demands these kinds of shenanigans out of nowhere, you better damn well get yourself together and perform. Thank God we’re both good under pressure. You never know what’s coming with HB. She likes to keep it fresh.