The Beef Song

A couple of months ago, it was a nightly ritual for Erin to request songs for us to sing at bedtime. She would choose something completely random, by glancing around the room, and come up with some totally arbitrary theme.  For example, she’d look up at the ceiling fan and say, “I want you to sing the fannnn song!!”. She was granted only two song requests per evening. We could only shoot from the hip so much. It was all good until you sang a REALLY good one, about the wall, window, or closet door, and then you were requested to sing it again the next night, and…GAH!…you totally forgot your awesome lyrics and tune. Happened all the time. We moved right on past that phase, as fun as it was. For awhile now, we’ve settled back into a more conventional routine of reading a few books and calling it a night…like normal parents.

Until last night.

Sean read Erin a couple of stories, as usual,when she suddenly looked up at him and said, “Daddy, will you sing me the Beef Song?”

Sean replied, “the beef song? I don’t know the beef song!”

Erin let out a most disgruntled sigh. Quite annoyed, she said, “YES, YOU DO!”

Sean really thought she was referring to the “bee” song from Monty Python: “Eric the Half a Bee”.  He said, “do you mean Eric the Half a Bee?” In the rotation of “actual, existing songs” that she was familiar with, this was not a far stretch, by any means.

“NO, DADDY, the bee-Fa-Fa-Fa-Fa-[strongly emphasizing the “EF” sound] song.” Not necessarily in a rude way, but a very exaggerated, tired of repeating herself, kind of way.

After a little bit of arguing about Monty Python vs. bee”F-F-F-F”, Sean finally succumbed to the old ritual of making shit up on the spot and singing about beef.  He doesn’t even recall his lyrics. We rarely do, because they are usually so lame, and they dissipate into the air as soon as they are crooned, and should be forgotten forever. It’s only when she requests real lullabies, like Michael Jackson tunes, that really matter anyway.

I do wonder, though, what impressive lyrics Sean sang last night. I am really curious. Or lack thereof, I suppose, as she did go to sleep quite quickly. Hopefully, we can get back on to normal nighttime routines, like sticking to books. But, when the honey badger demands these kinds of shenanigans out of nowhere, you better damn well get yourself together and perform. Thank God we’re both good under pressure. You never know what’s coming with HB. She likes to keep it fresh.